Friday, 28 March 2014

Who Wants to Bang the Big, Bad Wolf?

March 28, 2014

I've ventured back to the Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer, and took a stab at Scarlet. It was even better than Cinder was.  Much more violence and intrigue, which always captures my attention. I find that violence always makes books and movies better. Hmm...that's something I should probably talk to a therapist about.

What is it about the name Scarlet that makes me smirk? Maybe it's because the name reminds me of the whiney blonde on Nashville. Or maybe it's because I once bought my friend a lap dance from a stripper with c-section scars named Scarlet. Regardless, when reading the second book in The Lunar Chronicles I couldn't help but sneer while scrolling through the pages. This isn't to say I didn't fully enjoy the novel. It puts a whole new light on the classic Red Riding Hood, but adds a gun and a gritty past.
I fucking dare you.

Sequel Schmequel
I enjoyed Scarlet even more so than I did Cinder. I fully appreciated the Taken tone, but instead of a old (albeit sexy) Irish man, we get a teenaged ginger. With a much more detailed past, unpredictable family members, and a thing for the bad boys, Scarlet is a woman after my own heart. I find many revamped fairy tales use the same characters, but neglect to allude to the moral that inspired the story to begin with. Meyer does a great job at referencing the purpose of the story (don't talk to strangers, and the lesser known moral - be nice to your grandparents) while not taking away from the post-apocalyptic feel. The blend of past and future could not have been easy to come up with.

Integrating Cinder in to the storyline was an interesting, and adept, choice. She's not quite as bad ass as a gun toting farm girl, but her adventures blended seamlessly with those of Scarlet. Cinder left the reader with many questions, all of which were answered in Scarlet.

Girl Power Glory
The reluctant feminist in me fully appreciates that the two women in this series are leading ladies at their finest. Their sidekicks are men and machine whom they shamelessly use them for their own gain. Even Levana uses her man minions (manions?) for her personal vendetta by going so far as to genetically manipulate them. GREAT idea. The image of a wolf-man isn't exactly appealing but I suppose the goal is more fear based than sex appeal. Personally I think putting Wolf in a camo print banana hammock and body paint would spice things up, but I can still appreciate his more subtle, animalistic appeal. I hope he at least waxes the important bits.

Scarlet falls for the bad boy. Classic. Sure he withheld pertinent information regarding the kidnapping, sure he was an ex-gang member and current street fighter, and sure he refused her advances throughout 90% of the book, but these qualities are to women what big tits and short skirts are to men. All the makings of female Viagra.




Favorite Moments
-When Scarlet knees Ran in the dick. That's pretty much my only defensive strategy.
-Everything Thorne says. He's so wonderfully ostentatious. Annoying as fuck in person I'm sure, but amusing nevertheless.
-"Wolf, are you asking me to be...your alpha female?" BAHAHAHA I love this. Next time someone asks me out, this will be what I'll unabashedly say. I'm sure I'll lose the date, but it'll be worth it.


My biggest take away from Scarlet is how much fun mind control would be. How much easier would life be if you had that power! As a parent, a boss, a girlfriend, the possibilities are endless.

I give Scarlet 5 bloodied axes out of 5 dismembered wolves.

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